Conscious Parenting

Occasionally, I ask my daughters how I’m doing as a mother. I once had a friend tell me how brave I was for pursuing this inquiry. I saw it as my responsibility and obligation as a parent.

It’s no secret that I have a great disdain for the old school parenting model: “Do as I say, not as I do.” “Children are to be seen not heard.” The chain of command where all members fall in line and dutifully fulfill their roles. The parent is never wrong.

I’m not sure how this would ever be perceived as helpful or maintain strength and unity throughout the family unit. I believe it’s vital as parents to co-create the family dynamic as a united front.

I’m not saying I was always successful. I have made many mistakes over the years. I have felt like I have failed my kids on more than one occasion. This is a culmination of what I’ve learned through life experience, self reflection and clinical training.

What if we parent through the lens of curiosity? What if we explore our relationship with our children as an extension of source?

So often, we project all of our unhealed wounds and unfulfilled dreams onto innocent children who deserve their own experience of the world. This is why it’s imperative to do the work and heal your trauma.

Everything that happens or does not happen within the family unit is shaping and molding its individual members. Is there a sense of accountability and responsibility? Are you able to apologize to your kids when you are wrong? Are the rules and boundaries clear and consistent? Is each member treated fairly? Is there a sense of equality and belonging being experienced by each member? Are you role modeling healthy communication and problem solving? Do your children respect you? Yes, you must earn your Children’s respect!! Do you actively listen to their needs and respond from a place of empathy?

Parenting is the most rewarding and challenging journey a human can embark on. I encourage parents to entertain self reflection in their role within the family unit and cultivate an honest internal dialogue regarding failures and successes.

This is hard work. It’s heart centered and heart central in healing ancestral trauma and unifying the family system. And above all else, children are sponges. They are watching you. What you say is usually irrelevant. What you DO is everything.