Toxic Positivity

Our society is hyped up on obsessive positivity. I have always found this trend harmful, inauthentic and rooted in delusion.

That may sound harsh but I’m being honest. Positivity has its place and is an effective tool when used appropriately and when contextually logical, can be an uplifting means of helping out someone who is feeling down and out.

However, I’ve witnessed this movement dismiss what I consider to be hard core trauma, in the name of staying positive or worse, maintaining & protecting “my self care”. “I’m not going to allow this persons “toxicity” to rob me of my peace.” And we wonder collectively why we’ve lost the art of “it takes a village” and the deep sense of community most of us grew up with in our own neighborhoods as kids. It’s been diluted to quick hellos and how are you’s as we keep walking, not really interested in the answer.

I’m sure you’ve seen the memes about Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh that mental health professionals share on social media(I posted one below) I’ve always loved his character and was uplifted by the warmth his friends provided him. I found it to be a healthy message for a child to receive regarding friendship, support and unconditional love.

The interesting thing about the characters in Winnie the Pooh is that you have an array of personalities that all serve a purpose and complement one another.

The expectation to always be Tigger is unrealistic and upsets the balance within the dynamic of the characters. It would change the entire energy of the show and we would have learned far less about normal and essential emotions like grief and sadness, the ability to feel “darker” emotions and to develop sympathy and empathy for those experiencing strife.

I don’t know about you, but if I had a Tigger around me 24/7 I would struggle to create an authentic connection, always feeling like I had to mask my feelings and suppress darker emotions. We all have a shadow side. We are here to balance the light and the dark within ourselves as well as collectively.

Some people are born with a sunnier disposition and are naturally optimistic but that doesn’t hold true for most. This pressure to bypass the human experience is exacerbating the mental health crisis and creating a-lot of psychological warfare within the confines of our own minds but also society as a whole.

This need to stay positive is in direct opposition to the idea of radical acceptance which is essential in the healing process.

I’m also a big fan of allowing people to rage following an extreme event that caused a mental and emotional collapse. The positivity movement has seemingly created this disdain for anger, to the point of victim blaming & shaming which further highlights societal discomfort with strong emotion that conflicts with the surge of new age ideology & spiritual masterbation.

Anger & rage are a normal and healthy response for a victim to experience somewhere during the healing process. We are not meant to run around with plastic smiles plastered on our faces regurgitating positive affirmations and memes all day.

This is a call to reconnect with our humanity and move into a more heart centered way of living and being. Let’s put positivity back into a contextually appropriate place and make space for diversified emotion & embrace humanity in a way that connects & protects.